A Lesson For Us All To Learn From

Although I agree that parents need to be consistent and do what they say , this act disgusts me. There are many other options he had. THere are so many less fortunate children who would have been so grateful for such a gift, he could have sold the items and donated the money to charity or as someone else suggested he could have put them up and made the girls "earn" them back. It is very sad he chose to be so wasteful. I also agree with other members that this is something the girls will probably remember for years, and from the stories that other HBs are telling it won't be looked back on kindly.

<font color="#33CCCC" size="1">[ August 04, 2006 07:34 AM: Message edited by: mom4four ]</font>

not to the dump....but when Diana was smaller, I would do this on occasion. I'd ask her to just put her toys in a toybox. If it wasn't done by the end of the day/bedtime, I gathered them all up in a black garbage bag and they went out of the house. To the garage only.

The next day she would go overboard in straigtening up other areas and would get the toys back as rewards over a period of time.

I really think that's all it would take. He could have still made his point, but not lost the doll entirely. If he really knew the value of the doll both financially/emotionally, and he STILL did this, then I find his actions to be worse than the daughter's.

Laurie

I have rounded up "unpicked" up toys, and put them away until my girls showed more responsibility with taking care of their possessions. But to take toys to the dump, IMHO, is going way beyond what was necessary, and outright cruel.

A story which probably took place 40 years ago now: As a small child, I got in trouble for something--I don't even remember what--could have been for something like not picking up my toys. My father picked up one of my beloved dolls, and broke her to pieces in front of my eyes. Yes, he apologized after the fact, and "offered" to buy me a new one, but as we all know, it wasn't ANY doll I wanted back, it was the one he broke into pieces that I wanted fixed. I still remember just how heartbroken and scared I was following that incident, which has made a lifelong impression on me. And no, I wasn't an abused child, and would say I had a good childhood. But that one moment of his anger has stuck with me for more than 40 years now.

Linda

<font color="#33CCCC" size="1">[ August 04, 2006 08:45 AM: Message edited by: LindaL ]</font>

I have thrown out many of DD's toys. HOwever, I bag them up first and wait a week-during that week I go through the bag and pick out expensive toys or sentimental things to DD. She doesnt know I do this. Then if she can keep her room clean all week she gets her bag back-if she doesnt, then everything goes in the garbage. Minus the things I pulled out-they go in my closet until she starts to realize what she should do-then i put them back into her room when she isnt there.
This works well because
1 she forgot exactly I took when I went through her room and 2 I dont end up throughing her "favorites" away for good.
*Sidenote I NEVER threaten to throw her AG stuff out. SHe is well aware that if she doesnt take care of it, it will go away so that I can collect Ag.

I'm with Dad to a point too--parents need to follow through. If they say they're going to do something they need to DO IT!

But, I think he could have found a better way to follow through, like putting the toys away for the child to earn back later or something.

My grandma always used to tell me to never say "NO" unless I meant it & if I said "NO" I needed to be sure I followed up. If I found I made an error, I could apologize to my kids to let them know I goofed & was sorry.

Honestly, I think that's just crazy. I understand that parents should follow through on "threats" when their children don't do as they ask, but seriously, he didn't need to throw the doll away! Other options would have been to take the doll away and hidden her until his daughter earned her back, or if he just wanted to get rid of Lindsey once and for all, donated her to a children's center, or to the Salvation Army. Throwing the doll away is just a WASTE! Does he know how much money Lindsey is worth? I'm sorry, but that's just plain WRONG in my opinion.

I just think what the dad did was stupid.

If he told was clear with his daughter what the consequences of her actions would be, and then followed through, that's fair. (Though I personally would take the dolls away and have her earn them back, not get rid of them permanently.)

What is stupid about this to me though is that it was wasteful. I grew up poor and Kirsten was my prized possession. It took me years and years to piece together some outfits and accessories for her. If they are so fortunate that he can just throw away good, expensive toys, then maybe he can quit being a dunce and donate them to charity. There are lots of less fortunate little girls out there who would cherish Lindsey.

It shows immaturity and a total lack of foresight to take perfectly good items to the dump.

<font color="#33CCCC" size="1">[ August 04, 2006 09:00 PM: Message edited by: horsemom ]</font>

Quote:

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Originally posted by horsemom:
If they are so fortunate that he can just throw away good, expensive toys, then maybe he can quit being a dunce and donate them to charity. There are lots of less fortunate little girls out there who would cherish Lindsey.

It shows immaturity and a total lack of foresight to take perfectly good items to the dump.

<font color="#33CCCC"><font size="1">[ August 04, 2006 09:00 PM: Message edited by: horsemom ]</font></font>

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<font size="2" face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">I 100% agree, you don't throw away toys in general. From an enviromental standpoint they do not bio degrade so they are sitting in the dump. From a chariatable perspective he could've donated these things and made someone very happy.

To me this doesn't show whether or not the punishment was justified. It just shows that people are wasteful and quick to throw money away instead of giving it to someone who needs it.

When I moved into my condo, I had a lot of stuff I had to get rid of, but I didn't toss it into the dump. I gave it to Value Village, and this included things like a dresser, computer table, clothes, kids toys. Because I didn't have any use for them, but I knew somebody else would.

Actually I am about to go an make a Value Village drop off right now.


Actually this reminds me of a story I heard on the news. When the Nintendo DS came out, a father bought one for each of his three kids. Later on he put them up on ebay around christmas time because they were being really horrible and as he said they didn't deserve them. The story was something along those lines.

<font color="#33CCCC"><font size="1">[ August 04, 2006 09:07 PM: Message edited by: sailorangel59 ]</font></font>

<font color="#33CCCC" size="1">[ August 04, 2006 09:09 PM: Message edited by: sailorangel59 ]</font>

Hi! I read this thread yesterday and I just felt so sick over it I couldn't even comment. I cannot believe that Dad actually threw away his daughter's Lindsay. What an awful, long-lasting horrible memory he has just created for his daughter.
There are many ways to discipline one's children--throwing away something precious shouldn't be one of them. I'm glad you shared this story because it can serve as a good reminder to me to be more patient with my own DD as she grows and needs constructive guidance. This is one thread I won't soon forget. I just feel so sorry for that girl and poor Lindsay in the yucky dump somewhere :-( Katie

I think he should've just hid Lindsey or given her to a good cause too. It is a waste to toss an AG in the dump.

I've my toys tossed and I still can't keep my room clean but I'm going to try- it doesn't help that the recycling center (which has a place for toys and books) isn't open a lot of days and the nearest goodwill is an hour and a half away in a city I've only been to once. But I'm working on cleaning it and getting rid of stuff- putting most of the stuff to get rid of in the attic for now.